*I am ready to be a mommy blogger now, at least for a day.February 8, 2021
Setting the scene. We are a year into a global pandemic, and around 2 months into a Germany-wide lockdown. It is -8°C/18°F and snowing outside. I am 34 weeks pregnant, which means my German maternity leave has already started. Here is my day. 8:30 am // getting up. 3-year-old Emil came into our bed sometime in the middle of the night (3 am? It's hard to keep track) and I am sharing my pillow and blanket with him. He wakes up and wants to "pretend lick" my face. This involves some sort of half-smooching, that I am grateful is not "real" licking. Time to get up. Hannes has already made coffee and is leaving for work. 9:00 // first meltdown of the day. The cause: I brushed my teeth in the bathroom, Emil wanted me to brush my teeth in the kitchen. This one blows by relatively quickly, in part because I agree to go back and do it again (brush my teeth in the kitchen) when Emil asks me nicely. 9:30-12:00 // peace and harmony. I drink my coffee and eat my breakfast in peace. Emil and I share a bowl of oatmeal. We turn on Alexa German kid's radio and there is happy singing and dancing while I have time to do things like unload the dishwasher. I take a long, hot shower and Emil entertains himself admirably. 12:00 // time to go outside. My goal for the day: walk the few blocks to the drugstore, and then stop and pick up a package at the post office on the way home. There are some tears when I ask Emil if he wants to put on his scarf (ask! not insist!), but then we're off. The snow is fun! We can see our footprints! It feels good to be outside after not going out at all yesterday, when it was so nasty and windy. Emil walks part of the way and then gets in the stroller. We make it to DM (the drugstore) in a good mood. Shopping! It's fun! (Something I say almost never, but in a pandemic the options get very limited very fast, and it is one of the few indoor activities we can currently do outside our house.) 12:45 // hangry blood sugar crash. We are still in DM and Emil is exploring happily, but now I am suddenly starving and start to sweat and need to get out of there so I can eat some of the snacks we are buying. This happens to me on occasion in "normal" life, but as a super pregnant person this seems to come on after going an hour without eating, which can really be tiresome. 13:15 // made it. We are outside the store and Emil and I are both stuffing our faces with chocolate bars. 13:30 // post office. I have a package to pick up. I think the snow storm is keeping people away so we don't have to wait in much of a line (and the line doesn't extend to outside!). Package picked up, time to go. 13:40 // second meltdown of the day. Upon leaving the post office, Emil wants to go up to a different counter (one of 3) because that's the one he went to the last time he was at the post office with Hannes. I tell him no, because logic, and also Covid, etc. -- it's time to leave. He is screaming in his stroller and I simply start to walk home, but he climbs out of the stroller and runs back to the post office; he wants to go in by himself. I tell him I won't let him go back in the post office, lots of screaming ensues. In my current super-preggo state I just can't carry him away, so I do a lot of blocking and holding on as he tries to run to the post office door. Tantrum attenuates somewhat, now Emil is standing still (not running towards the post office) screaming at me while I stand next to him and wait. It is -8°C and snowing. Eventually he flops on the ground, I go to pick him up and he flops on the ground further away, he then allows me to put him in the stroller. It's time to walk the 4 blocks home. 14:00 // home and stuck. On the few snowy blocks home I was really trying to keep Emil awake, but of course he konks out a few steps before our door. I try to wake him/pick him up but fail, he is out. (Again, super pregnant me can't just pick him up and carry him upstairs. My building is more than 100 years old, there is no elevator.) I park us in the entrance to our courtyard, which is enclosed and sheltered from the elements but not, like, heated, and resign myself to waiting. I set a 45-minute timer and resolve to try and wake Emil again then, at the latest. I sit on a dry-ish patch on the floor, open a newly-purchased bag of animal-shaped pretzel bites, and start to play with my phone. On the one hand, I relish the quiet time; I respond to a few emails, read the news, etc. On the other hand, it is still -8°C, and I have to pee, which is more or less a permanent condition while being pregnant. In non-lockdown life, the correct choice here would have been to turn around, head a few blocks away to my favorite neighborhood restaurant, and to order a nice meal and use their bathroom while Emil had his nap. But alas, in lockdown life I am stuck. (Hannes is at work and I could summon him home in case of an emergency, but this doesn't count, this is really a fairly common occurrence, though usually it's a few degrees warmer outside.) 14:30 // rescue!! My neighbors come through the entryway with their 5-year old and offer to help. I ask them if they would be willing to carry Emil in his stroller up the several flights of stairs so that he can keep sleeping inside; they are happy to. I am not good enough at asking for help that I start ringing neighbor's doorbells when I get stuck like this, but I am kind of proud of myself for asking them in this instance. 16:20 // documenting. This day has made me want to chronicle this slice of lockdown-with-toddler life. I am sitting in my living room with a hot water bottle and a blanket, because actually my living room is incredibly drafty when it's windy outside, but it sure is more comfy than being out in the cold. Emil is still sleeping and really, I should wake him -- if I let him sleep much longer it will be 10pm before he goes to sleep tonight -- but I think for now I will just enjoy the peace and quiet and accept the consequences.
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